Musical Frustration: The Three Obstacles Students Face

I encourage my students to push their limits and explore what they're capable of — but sometimes frustration can happen. Suddenly, something feels insurmountable.

In my college practice room days, when I got stuck I'd wonder if something was innately wrong with me. Why couldn't I get it? Maybe some people just "have it" and some don't.

That wasn't the problem. The problem was that I lacked strategies for working through frustration.

The obstacles I see most often — across all ages — are impatience, comparison, and inconsistency.

Impatience

We expect things to happen quickly. So when students hit a wall, they often respond by practicing faster — which is exactly backwards. The answer is simple but takes time to internalize: go slow. I tell students to embrace their inner tortoise...a happy tortoise running through a field of peanut butter. Now, go a little slower than that, and you're probably just right.

Practicing slowly gives your brain more time to process, more chances to self-correct, and room to build the muscle memory and intuition that rushed practice simply can't develop. You must allow yourself many opportunities and the right conditions--repetitions over time.

Comparison

"Comparison is the thief of joy" — and I'd add, the thief of focus. When students compare themselves to peers or to some imagined better version of themselves, their attention shifts away from their own process. Focus on the problem solving without the judgement. Our attention is like a spotlight: whatever we shine it on most is what grows.

Inconsistency

Progress requires a process you're actually committed to. That doesn't mean rigid robot-practice — your child's routine can be open and flexible. But it should connect to what they're working toward. Are you trying to help your child learn to appreciate music more? Are they trying to get into music school? The key isn't that you have to do exactly what Mozart's routine was each day, or use the same kind of paper that he used to write his music. The key is that students need lots of relevant opportunities--repetitions over time--that apply their process and practice.

Frustration, reframed, is an opportunity — to push limits, learn, and set ego aside. Next month I'll share concrete steps for helping your child work through a frustrating practice moment. Stay tuned!